Pilgrim

"I am a pilgrim on the path of love."

~Swami Kripalu

 

 

I kept trying to do one more thing to help before I left.

 

I will get some clean pajamas for Lilian . . . 

Let me just wash one more dish . . .

and this, just this one more toy . . .

 

Finally, Matt said, "you gotta go.  You are going to miss your class."  Basically he was saying, kindly, "Snap.  Out.  Of.  It.  And leave!"  Thank God for these words; for this push.

 

 

I kissed heads, ran down the stairs and after glancing at my watch realized I might be late indeed.  If there is one thing that makes my stomach churn it is being late so I decided to run the ten blocks to the yoga studio.  As I settled into a gentle gait, a quote miraculously showed up in my head: "I am a pilgrim on the path of love."  A smile now accompanied my jog as I loved this surprise discovery by my own mind and I began repeating it over and over, feeling lighter and freer with each utterance. 

 

 

And then I felt my backpack, blissfully bright and light on my back.  Still chanting, I considered this bag which now represented to me proactivity and change  (you see, I had been meaning to exchange my old bag with a broken zipper for years and finally made it happen last month - I did not understand the positive impact that such a seemingly insignificant task could have on my psyche!)   Next, still chanting, I considered all that this bag contained: pens for writing; my "sacred work" notebook which contains all of my ideas, and some napkins in case I ran into any real trouble.  More and more, I felt my pilgrimhood equal to a warrior.  Again, still chanting, I felt my yoga mat; perhaps the greatest tool for self discovery next to that of a pen.  I felt my new coat and gloves; the only material items that I hade visualized gaining this season.  And there they were, already apart of me.  Chanting still, I moved outside of my own boundaries and considered Matt at home with the girls; everyone safe and happy.  My smile grew as gratitude continued to enter my heart.  In fact, as I neared the studio, I believe I even laughed out loud. 

 

 

I am a junkie for Swami Kripalu stories and perhaps my favorite one is the simplest: "when people would gather in his presence, at times their tears would pour out from the simplest of words or their laughter was uproarious and contagious."  Although I never got to sit by his feet, I feel as though I experienced just a drop of his presence yesterday as I ran through the streets of D.C. - my own version of a pilgrim on the same path of love.