Collect Love

Loud cries. 
Startled waking. 
Little body.
Big soul.
Our feelings matched:
tired and helpless. 

My deepest fears
shine brightest
in the dark night distilled -
fear of judgment
and fear of my exhausted self. 

And what to do?
Fear of judgment; easy:
silence (ironically, here I am
talking to you.)

Fear of self - oh, wow.
Here we are.
Again.

Here is what I am trying:
a hybrid of two phrases -
"Collect yourself" (a common
one in our house these days) and
"love yourself" (what I know as
the golden key) =
"Collect Love."

Collect Love in the
sticky, icky moments when
turning against myself seems so easy.

Yes - here - in the messiness
the love that I can collect for myself
like coins on the bottom of Ganges River
is the most potent of all.