Thought-Feeling

 Roll with me here. This is completely unedited. Basically: mind to paper with nothing in between. 

Yesterday, I responded to a text. 

(I am laughing outloud thinking about the topic of a workshop; something like, "spiritual growth through texting.") 

The response was sarcastic in my book. Not "typical" for me. 

Historically, I can really obsess about these kinds of things. Am I alone in this? 

But somewhere in between sending the text and wiping down the kitchen counters, I had this thought/feeling (you know, one of those things that you can't fit so neatly into either category?) It was something like this, yes, you said that. That was then. And here we are now. We are constantly changing.

This thought/feeling (which certainly didn't require so many words as above) brought with it the refreshing air of self-forgiveness. 

These moments when I am just an ounce more out of my head and in my body, even if that means wiping down the counters, often leads to a greater sense of understanding for me. in other words, I feel as though I extend beyond a rational or intellectual understanding and this feels, well, more whole.

Now, I am not saying that I love the sarcastic comment that I wrote. But somehow it is less personal and more fluid. Somehow I love myself just an inch more by seeing that I can be lots of things; that I too am constantly changing and growing and that perfection is by no means my middle name.