A Walk in the Woods

This is my recent challenge: how do I get out of the house with my 2.5 year old and 8 month old?  It seems that in our house someone is either sleeping or eating and that can make it feel like there is room for little else (other than cleaning.)  But I know how good it is to get out of the house.  How vital.  For all three of us.  The fresh air.  The movement of the body.  The space.  The natural beauty.  So today I decided to just exit our back door.  Not pack any snacks (with the exception of a little nut pack that Lilian carried in none other than a toddler size bunny purse); no diapers or wipes; no big car that we have to get in and out of.

Lilian is used to taking this walk with Matt, but she typically rides in the backpack.  I prepared her, saying that Blair had to ride in the ergo and she finished my sentence, "because she can't walk yet?"  Yes, because she can't walk yet.  And we started out.  And oh, the air.  And the sounds.  I could feel Blair take a nice big sigh; you know the one.  And Lilian had a hop in her step and quickly found a tiny mushroom and an acorn.  I imagined what the world must look like to her; all of the tiny miracles of nature so close to her.  Besides the tiny mushroom, she found tiny berries and ferns and sticks and a cracked acorn.  I knew we probably wouldn't make it all the way to the creak, but I didn't know this would happen: "Mommy, I have a poopy."

"Ok," I replied.  "Let's head back."  And I could feel myself tighten just a bit.  I turned into slow motion survival mode and noticed how much I began rushing Lilian back home; as if something terrible was going to happen to her if she had the dirty diaper on for more than five minutes.  And in this moment of urging on, "come on Lilian" as she discovered yet anther tiny miracle, I realized how often I do this with my children; push them on to the next thing.  "Great, you are dressed!  Now put your clothes in the hamper!...or, great, we have walked in the woods, now let's get home for lunch!"  On and on.  And I know all of this is important: the routine; the responsibility that I am working on teaching, yada yada.  But I wonder if I can drop some of this more often.  Leave it at the door.  And exist, even just for a little while, in their time zone or, rather, be beyond time.  I wonder if I can walk in the woods without an agenda.

Anyway, we did get home and changed the diapers and all felt good from the glorious fresh air.