Inside Space

I want more space.
Maybe a playroom.
Or even a room of my own! 
To write and do yoga.
Another bathroom. 
That would be good.
And a room for Lilian.
And maybe a shed....

These were occasional fantasies of mine (and, lets not kid ourselves here, sometimes still creep in especially in the moments where we all feel tight in here, our lives overlapping in messy ways - Joe's O's on the family room floor; a baby bathtub rotating between shower floor and bathroom floor; a bike in our living room/dining room/now third bedroom.) 

But one morning as I did my "one thing" at the coffee shop, I felt this spaciousness inside that is absolutely incomparable to a shed or an extra room.  I realized then that through all of my grasping for external space, what I really needed was inside space.  Space to follow the natural flow of things; space to hear and see those things that are so important.  Space to think and write and be.  And space to hear the subtle, sacred heartbeat of my very own path. 

Maybe we will have more external space someday; perhaps even a rooftop yoga/writing space (a girl can dream!)  Perhaps even sooner than we know.  And there will probably still be Joe's O's on the living room floor and probably in the shed too.  But what will really matter is the space inside that grows and is kept clean through a grand mixture of discipline and passion.